what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
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I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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