ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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