I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
