Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
