he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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