Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
