Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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