i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
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Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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