on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
