I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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