I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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