haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
