Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
