He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize