Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize