At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
