dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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