It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Its about making memories worth repressing
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
