My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
