Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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