bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
