He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
