HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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