Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize