Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize