White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My bed smells like the plague
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
