R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
