You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
