I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
