Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize