How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
