So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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