I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
