the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize