why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
