Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry about my life...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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