you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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