How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
