In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
