I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
