I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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