If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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