I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
