Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
