I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
