it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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