You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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