We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
