omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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