the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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