You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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