So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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