I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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