dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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