So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
