If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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