great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
