Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I need help removing her.

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(410): View more from Maryland

so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

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(734): View more from Michigan

I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Shittttttt.

(734): View more from Michigan

Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

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(618): View more from Illinois

lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...

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(302): View more from Delaware

Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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(402): View more from Nebraska

When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.

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(914): View more from New York

Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"

(314): View more from Missouri

Why are our lives so predictable?

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